How to Help the Development of Your Autistic Child

Working as a therapist for autistic children, I recently met a parent that said that they went to a psychiatrist setup years ago and saw a board about autism, but didn't bother reading it because they thought autism was something that could never happen to their child. Cut to today, she sits in my therapy centre, with a broken heart.

When a child is born into a family, it ushers in an overwhelming wave of joy. Parents eagerly await their arrival, grandparents rejoice, and relatives share in the excitement. However, in many instances, this joy is short-lived as parents receive a diagnosis within the first few days or weeks. Sometimes it takes time for symptoms of disorders, such as autism, to become apparent as the child develops. It is during this journey that the challenges of accepting and acknowledging a special needs child often arise.

Expecting the best for their child, parents sometimes struggle to identify if something is amiss. Many parents I've encountered share sentiments like, "I sensed something was wrong, but I thought it would resolve with time," or "I convinced myself I was overthinking it," or even "I just stopped thinking about it."

As time passes, those around them begin to notice developmental delays or behavioral differences. Unfortunately, our society tends to fall into three distinct groups in how they respond to these situations.

The first group, which I like to call "invigilators," continuously compare the child's progress and emphasize the deficits as though it were a report card where the child scores a zero in speaking, while another child excels. It's because of individuals like these that many parents feel compelled to hide their child's challenges, as if their child's developmental struggles reflect poorly on their parenting abilities. Who created this "report card" and checklist that we feel obliged to fill out?

The second group comprises individuals who offer advice, often with incomplete or misguided information. They might say things like, "He's not speaking because the mother works, so you should quit your job," or "Don't worry; your brother or some uncle or aunt started talking when they were five." This group can be dangerous, as they may pressure parents into making educational decisions that aren't in the child's best interest. Many parents, under this influence, wait until their child is five years old, wasting precious intervention time.

The third group is the category of people who are indifferent, considering it none of their concern. To them, people fall into simplistic categories of "normal" or "abnormal," "crazy" or "not crazy", effectively acting as judges of others' lives.

Having spent numerous years working with special needs children, it is evident that the missing piece of the puzzle is awareness -

Awareness about disorders, Awareness about mental health, Awareness about autism, and many others. If we all strive to live in a society where knowledge about neurodevelopmental disorders is widespread, people won't be quick to judge, investigate, or offer misguided advice.

Having a Neurodiverse child can become increasingly difficult to navigate, here's what you can do :

Educate Yourself

Knowledge is empowering. Educate yourself about your child's neurodevelopmental disorder. Understanding the characteristics, challenges, and strengths associated with autism or any other condition will help you better support your child. There are numerous books, websites, and support groups dedicated to providing information and advice.

Embrace Neurodiversity

Accepting your child's neurodiversity is a crucial step in their well-being. Understand that their differences are not defects but unique attributes that make them who they are. Celebrate their strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Focus on their potential rather than trying to "fix" them.

Build a Support Network

You're not alone in this journey. Connect with other parents who have children with neurodevelopmental disorders. Support groups and online communities can offer valuable insights, shared experiences, and emotional support. Building a network of understanding friends and family members can also make a significant difference.

Effective Communication

Clear and open communication is vital when supporting your child. Neurodiverse individuals may struggle with verbal or non verbal communication, so adapt your approach to their needs. Use visual aids, sign language, or alternative communication methods if necessary. Patience and empathy are key.

Develop a Routine

Establishing a consistent routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability for your child. Many neurodiverse children thrive with structure and routine, as it helps reduce anxiety and stress. Be flexible when needed, but try to maintain a stable daily schedule.

Tailor Education and Therapies

Work with your child's educators and therapists to create an individualized education plan that addresses their specific needs and goals. Tailor therapies, interventions, and accommodations to suit your child's strengths and challenges. Regularly evaluate and adjust these plans as your child grows and develops.

Encourage Independence

Promote independence by teaching essential life skills, such as self-care, communication, and problem-solving. Encourage your child to explore their interests and talents. Remember that neurodiverse individuals have unique abilities that can be harnessed for personal growth.

Be Patient and Accept Regression

Neurodevelopmental disorders can bring periods of regression, where your child may temporarily lose previously acquired skills. Be patient during these times and continue to provide support and encouragement. Celebrate their progress, no matter how gradual.

Prioritize Self-Care

Caring for a child with a neurodevelopmental disorder can be emotionally and physically demanding. Don't forget to prioritize self-care to ensure you're mentally and physically well-equipped to support your child. Seek respite care or assistance from family members when needed.

Accepting and supporting your child with autism or any other neurodevelopmental disorder is a journey that requires patience, empathy, and dedication. By seeking professional guidance, educating yourself, and embracing neurodiversity, you can provide your child with the love and support they need to thrive. Remember that every child is unique, and their journey will be one of growth, learning, and endless possibilities. Your unwavering support will be a vital part of their success and happiness.